Bear with me... What I mean is, have you ever started something (like a diet maybe) and you make all of these rules for yourself: no sugar, no alcohol, no carbs! You do really well all week but then Friday comes, and you go out with friends and have some pizza! And welp. You might as well have some wings, dessert, and a few beers too. Afterall, you’ve already messed up your diet, you might as well go all in, right!?
This is something I coach clients through a lot. But recently, I have really had to coach myself through it. When I got diagnosed with Hashimoto’s a couple of weeks ago my perfectionist tendencies came rushing in! Within a day I had read a book, listened to several podcasts, and read a few research articles. I consumed all of the information I could as quickly as I could and then I tried to apply ALL of it.
I eliminated dairy, soy, vegetable oils, eggs, all grains, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, nightshades, nuts, seeds, and nickel containing foods. I changed all of my household cleaning products, cooking utensils, and some of my beauty products. I changed the way I worked out and added a bunch of supplements. I went ALL IN!
I didn’t take it slow or try to ease into things like I counsel many clients to do. And then, I made dinner and accidentally used black pepper. Crap! I screwed up. So! I might as well have some sugar! I was majorly craving it and that was just the little nudge I needed to dive into some gluten free cookie dough. And this is where the stairs come in.
Imagine that you are walking, and you need to go down a flight of stairs, so you step down the first step and you stumble! What is your reaction? You likely say, “Woah!” and grab onto the railing. You stop yourself and then look around to make sure nobody saw. Then continue down the stairs while paying a little bit more attention to your steps until you feel confident again.
It wouldn't make sense for you to say, “Welp! Already messed this up...” and throw yourself down the rest of the stairs, right?
So why do we do this with our nutrition and exercise? Why do we let a small stumble turn into throwing ourselves painfully down the flight of stairs? Only to try to start all over again on Monday.
The answer: perfectionism and all or nothing thinking.
Because just like we don’t throw ourselves down the stairs, we also shouldn’t try to leap up them all at once! I should have started slow. I should have known better but sometimes it is so hard to take our own advice. This is something I have to practice intentionally every day.
I have to remind myself that I didn’t get here in one day and I won’t fix everything in one day either. I don’t have to do it all at once and neither do you. You just have to take it one step at a time.
Here are two of my favorite resources to help understand this better for yourself:
The first one is a workbook and guided journal that I have used for myself and for my clients. The second one is a book about self-sabotage which I love. As always, feel free to reach out if you want to chat about anything!
Take care,
Liz
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